About the power of goals
Goals are very powerful weapons. They can make you or break you, if you let them. Goals need to be realistic – although if you do not push yourself a little, if you do not challenge yourself enough, your goals can be pretty useless. If something is easy to achieve, than it can hardly be qualified as an accomplishment, can it? Goals and challenges make you grow, drive you to move forward.
But this life is crazy. Life as an almost 40, near 40 and I presume life as a 40 something individual is pretty crazy. Nothing is simple anymore. When I was in my 20s and even in my 30s, things seemed to come natural, effortlessly. Work, life, friends … everything was … cool. Now, two decades later, we are each on a different path, leading very similar and yet very different lives. Change has happened and not always in the right direction.
Not all of us master the art of goal setting. Or not anymore … For some of us it has always been hard to set personal goals. For others, what happens in their late 30s and continues during their 40s is that they forget to set goals for themselves. They sometimes have been idealistic in their youth, they believed that they can move mountains, they did not and then they have stopped trying. Sometimes, having a family, kids, professions, jobs, busy lives in general, seems too overwhelming and we simply start delaying any goal setting in favor of chores, appointments, meetings and all that jazz.
But goals are so essential for our growth and development! One day I realized that my life was a dull linear path of chores, appointments, meetings and all that jazz and I was so, so tired of all of that. Consequently, what I started to do – and I advise you to do the same – is that I set one goal for myself each week, one goal corresponding to each month and a couple of important, complex goals to achieve by the end of the year. Write those down in a note book, diary or even in your agenda. Having written goals helps you focus on them more. Then move forward towards achieving them.
For example, my weekly goals are typically linked to my need to reconnect with myself, to take of myself and they usually generate a state of wellbeing. They are usually just little things that I do for myself – this week, for instance, I decided to start walking on foot more – thus increasing the level of my physical activity.
As for the bigger goals, they relate to things that I want to achieve in this life, since it is the only one I have. This blog is one of my yearly goals. I usually treat them differently because I split my bigger goals into smaller actions and attach deadlines to those actions. This, I think, helps me to advance. I am not perfect; I still strive to get everything done for all the others (family and job wise) without neglecting my goals and myself. It is still hard at times – when I come home from work drained of all energy and exhausted. However, after having this system in place for while I can tell you that it works, even if the change is only psychological (so even if I walk more, my weight did not go down – and maybe it will never go down – but my state of mind has gone up).
Tony Robins is seldom quoted on this one, and it is so, so very true: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” Goal setting, if used correctly, is an instrument of change. Life is change. Your 40s will not be the same as you 30s or 20s. And it is OK.
Until next week, lots of sunshine to you all!
Near 40 Dana