I may not be there. Yet.
Decision is a process of mind, which occurs each time you need to set a course in your life and set sail. Decision taken and action – consistent, coherent and yes, sometimes painfully hard. So often we drive our judgment to mimic learned patterns: we all do it! We have been trained – much the same way the monkeys in the circus learn how to play tricks. And after years and years in school, college, university we face the reality: we are not really equipped to decide anything. This is how we end up stressed out, burned out, put to the ground … And it takes years to reverse the process and learn how to really decide. That is if we even become conscious of all of this.
Because the final decision must come from the heart, not from the mind! Sure, rationalizing is part of the process. Sure, analyzing is in order. But if we do not follow our heart – as it is the heart that seeks happiness, wellness and all that good vibes – than analyzing and rationalizing are not enough.
Do we fail if we un-decide?
Because from the perspective of my own up-bringing and education, un-deciding – or, in other words, changing your mind and changing course, is failure and a big fat NO NO.
I am almost 40 now, and I just recently learned that it is OK to come back to a decision and say: It is not working, it was wrong for me, it is not worth it. Instead I will do this … The idea is to put something in place – the idea is not to annul, but to replace. To add value to your life.
A while ago, I came across the concept of unschooling, which is an educational method that builds the entire process of education around the child and the child’s own developmental and learning needs. Unschooled kids learn through their day to day life experiences and this means playing, doing house chores, personal interests, travel, books, family, mentors and social interaction. The child himself/herself initiates the activities and leads the process. And by doing so, the adepts of unschooling say, the child will become better prepared to face life, it will have a baggage of knowledge which is practical, based on experiences and not based on memorized, unnecessary stuff. The gifts that God or Nature gave to that child will be amplified. He or she will be an artist, if art is what that child is gifted for or a scientist, if science is what he or she cares about. If a child becomes interested in science, than this is what he or she will choose. Once the path becomes clear, nothing will stop that child to undertake more formal, traditional education.
Well, I am almost 40, I have two bachelor degrees and I decided to get unschooled. “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). And there is no formal way to do that: you need to decide and un-decide. You have to live. You have to lose a certain amount of the learned behaviors and you need to be authentic. Lots of sunshine to you all!
Near 40 Dana