This is how I choose to be

This is how I choose to be

A story of acceptance

   This is how I choose to be. I choose to be a free soul that has the right to decide what to like and not what to like, what to take with me and what to leave behind. I choose not to carry additional luggage. I choose to travel light. All the bad things, all the negativity, anger, hate, disgust need to stay in the past. I will take with me only things that matter: true love, compassion, dreams, experiences, hope.

   For the first time in my life, I choose to completely accept who I am – who I have become over the years and I am happy with it. Because I choose to be happy.

   I choose to travel through life with confidence. Confidence that I am able to cope with most things, confidence that I am able to do everything that I put my mind to. Confidence that I can grow and that I can shape my future with the aim of having a great experience out of life. Because we only have one life. I mean – all we know now is that we just have one life. We have to, at the very least, enjoy it. Loving it would be ideal.

   So … I choose to love it.

   I choose to live now, today; I choose to do more than staying alive.

   Acceptance is the key for freedom. And it means that you need to accept it all – the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, the questions, the answers – even the ones that you do not particularly like – everything that has ever affected you in some way, everything that you are.

   So, this is how I choose to be: I choose to be free.

   It comes after a couple of years of struggles and turmoil. It comes after a long period I just stayed alive but forgot how to live. And it feels good. In fact, it feels like a million bucks!

   Acceptance comes from your ability to forgive: forgive yourself for not being what others decided is the standard, forgive yourself for being different, for being … you. Instead choose – choose to be you, whatever that means. Do it deliberately and embrace the experience. It is the only way out of the black whole.

   So what if you are not perfect? So what if you do not match certain criteria that others have set in order to classify such volatile concepts: beauty, success, achievement…

   All of them depend on the point of view and the point of view cannot be objective. Because it is personal. Each and every one of us has his or her own criteria used in defining the above concepts. What is beautiful to me, is ugly to somebody else. My way of measuring success is different than the way you might describe it. It all depends on the definition!

   So, this is what I choose be: beautiful and successful according to my own standards.

   I come to trust myself and understand myself and rely on my own judgment, as I am whole, I am enough and I matter.

   I am almost 40 and I choose to be star of my own show.

   I choose to be ME.

   Until next week, I leave you with the lyrics of one of my favorite songs in the world, by Gloria Gaynor:

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the aces, sometimes the deuces
It’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life so it’s time to open up your closet
Life’s not worth a damn till you can shout out
I am what I am”

Lots of sunshine to you all!

Near 40 Dana

60 thoughts on “This is how I choose to be

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    1. Hello there as well! Thank you so much for your kind words of appreciation! It means a lot – as I put a lot of passion into my blog. Like they say, sharing is caring! So I hope that your roommate enjoys it as well!

      Kind Regards,


    1. Thank you, Loretta! I am genuinely happy to see that you like my blog! Like I said, I will be here each week with new posts and so I hope to see you on my page some more!
      Kind Regards,

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    1. Hello there,
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      So keep your fingers crossed for me and, in the mean time, I will be here each week – my designated day for posting is Sunday so stay tuned for tomorrow.
      Kind Regards,

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    1. Thank you so much! It is very kind of you to say that. I hope to see you back on my page as I am going to keep posting!
      Kind Regards,


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    1. Hi there, thank you! This is what keeps me going – reading your comments and realizing that maybe, even for a second, my writing made a difference for somebody. Kind Regards, Near40Dana

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    1. Hello yourself! I wish I was an expert! I am certainly not – I am an almost 40 person that one day found out that we are more alike than different and that many others may be going through the same experiences and turmoils. And than I decided to start this blog – hoping that I can reach those many others. That said, I have written before, I have published before, ages ago, when I was in my 20s and than … life happened and I forgot what a wonderful, fulfilling experience this is! So thank you! I hope you will come back on my page for more posts.
      Kind Regards. Near40Dana

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